We’re heading off to Puerto Rico next week. My brother-in-law is moving in to dismantle the place, I mean, ward off robbers. If you’re interested, I can draw up a map of where to find all our D.I.-worthy loot. Our TV, CD player and food mixer will bring an easy $100 at any pawn shop.
In hopes of cutting stress, I’ve been packing little bit by little bit. A scrap of underwear here, swimsuit, diapers, basically anything we won’t miss while we live out the rest of the week. Four years ago, I would be filling a suitcase with just my stuff, keeping it simple. Now I plan for three, with Brian and Scarlett being extremely high maintenance. Brian hasn’t packed a bag since we got married; the same goes for scrubbing the toilet.
This will really make you heave; I even pack his bags for business trips. His nerd-ware is ironed, starched and sprayed down with some Febreze to pungent pits. When he comes home, he drops the bag at the foot of our stairs, where it sits in protest for about a week until Scarlett unloads it in the middle of the floor.
Packing is an art form perfected after years of practice. My brother is truly gifted when packing a bag, utilizing every space. Instead of employing the folding technique, he rolls. He even tucks things into his shoes. Keep that in mind for your next trip.
Another important key to packing -- remembering everything. A trip to Bear Lake was nearly ruined when my mother forgot to pack underwear. Still wonder how she handled that one. In order to get all our crap locked and loaded, I write a step-by-step list of our daily routines. This means I know the order of operation for Brian’s life. Flip the situation with Brian packing for me.
The suitcase would be extremely light. After making it to the hotel room, I would lug it onto the bed, unzip and flip, only to find it full of teddies and lingerie. Very practical for a family vacation. I wonder if he would even remember to throw in a toothbrush, probably counting on the hotel to provide toiletries.
A half-empty, or half-full depending on how you look at it, suitcase sits with a mixture of the Sanders-Solomon unmentionables, toiletries and swim gear. A dangerous situation if Scarlee decided to do a little unpacking. I’ll be happy if it’s not my stuff left behind on the bedroom floor.
