We have all been through it and, at best, a breakup is a difficult situation. Here are some tips and advice to help you make it through this rough patch.
1. You are not going to be thinking clearly for a few days or even weeks. This kind of depression can make you want to act out, isolate yourself or do things that may not be good for you. If you had a routine before the breakup, stick to it. If you didn’t, create one.
2. You don’t have to do this alone. You have friends and family, and if no one is available, consider going to a trained professional or joining a support group. Be careful not to lean too hard on those close to you; they can burn out if your sadness goes on for too long.
3. Let your feelings out. If you need to cry, do it. If you are hurting, try writing about your feelings. It’s a great way to get out of your head, and it will help heal your heart. The important thing to remember is not to just sit on your feelings, because pain will hang around if you let it.
4. Find your strength wherever you can. If you need to get a little angry, that’s perfectly normal. Sometimes we have to recognize what wasn’t working, so we can feel good about where we are at the moment.
5. If your former partner is being unkind, see it as one of your reasons to move on.
6. Getting dumped can feel horrible. It’s helpful to remember that rejection is protection. Allow this truth to sink in and help you heal. If you think about it, you will find reasons that this relationship wasn’t right for you.
7. For some, diving right back into the dating scene works. Others need to take some time before even thinking about getting into another relationship. You may find yourself somewhere in the middle of these two extremes. Balance is key here. You don’t want to move too quickly -- or take too much downtime.
8. Healing a broken heart takes time. But if you’ve been grieving for several months or even years, you may need to seek medical assistance, so you can begin to lead a normal life once again.
9. Know that you will feel love again -- even if you don’t want to. If you are a loving person and want to share your heart with a deserving partner, please keep that image in your mind. It will help you make it happen.
10. Some of the best art was created from the same place that you are in. Your heart may be broken, but the rest of you may be working just fine. Sometimes heartache can lead you to the answers you need to make your life better.
I hope these tips will help you get through the hard parts. Remember that your heart is still whole and you will find your soul mate.
Dr. Barton Goldsmith, a psychotherapist in Westlake Village, Calif., is the author, most recently, of “100 Ways to Boost Your Self-Confidence -- Believe in Yourself and Others Will Too.”