Make time to decompress with your mate

Spend time at the end of the day just being together.

Story by Barton Goldsmith
(Scripps Howard News Service)
Mon, Apr 25, 2011
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After the dishes are done, the kids are in bed and you still have a bit of energy left at the end of the day, decompressing with your mate can be a bonding experience.

Couples can sometimes become so busy doing their own things apart, or even be so busy together with household tasks and work, that they don’t make room for downtime. This is true whether you both work out of the house or if just one of you is at home. Busy couples live much of their lives separately, and part of what makes a relationship enjoyable is the process of getting together again.

It’s nice to make that time while both of you are still awake and not yet in bed. This way, each of you gets a chance to talk and be heard.

You can drink tea or share a glass of wine together before going to sleep. I believe you will find the time so bonding that you’ll want to make it a regular thing. It’s a calm and pleasant time to tell each other about the things you did during the day. This is not a time to bring up relationship issues, but rather a time to just be with each other and share the positive side of things.

That little bit of sharing can keep your connection strong. A nice chat while resting in your lover’s arms will make your whole relationship more enjoyable, including sex.

Sometimes we forget that closeness is a powerful force that can help us slay the dragons of the day or inspire us to build a castle for the ones we love. And it all starts because someone you care for cares back and lets you know it.

This connection time doesn’t have to be long. Go with whatever is comfortable, but put chores, ideas and work aside to bask in the glory of your great decision -- to be with this person who shares your life.

Having that time together will also help you deal with the following day. If you do this consistently, you may find that your attitude brightens. Decompressing at the end of the day helps many people release pent-up anxiety or makes dealing with difficult people or situations less stressful.

Most importantly, taking some time together before bed gives you the reassurance and emotional bonding that will help you keep your relationship moving forward.

If you are stuck and at odds at the moment, share this story with your partner and see if you can find some time at the end of each day to be together. Commit to a week of connection this way before you evaluate its success. This ritual may not be for everyone, but when it works, it works really well.

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